"HAPPY HIGH AND LOW!"

May 30, 2008 Friday

we celebrated our HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

he even surprised me with these STUFFS here!

im very much HAPPY when i received this BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS from him with tears...
I DIDNT EXPECT HE'LL BE DOING THESE!

I'm Bowled over...

But i felt bad ABOUT EVERYTHING! i'm ONLY his 2nd option and i cant do anything about it! YES! i'm happy with him but A PAINFUL HAPPINESS i must say! hearing him saying his piece really burnt my heart down... how long am i going to allow him to HURT me? is he really worth it? Erik will always be Erik! and Khryssy will always be Khryssy! i hope everything will be alright soon... without him? YES! or maybe not? i dont know! I WANT TO SCREAM! I'M HURT BEHBY!!! how can i stand these SHIT LIFE with him? how could he EVEN BALANCE THINGS AND BE WITH TWO different people at THE SAME TIME? how can he say these line "i love you penguin" when he is texting these SAME line to the other (*&#!) i want to rip off my eyes! I WANT to BANG my ears! for me not to see and hear everything! how could i? how could i not love myself even more and save my LIFE NOW! i dont know... i really dont know! I DROP EVERYTHING! literally! That is why it is so important to let certain things go? To release them? To cut them loose? Maybe people need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards!!!! sometimes we win and sometimes we loose. Don't expect to get anything back, don't expect recognition for your efforts, don't expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. this is how i think! Complete the circle? Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door! change the record! clean the house! get rid of the dust! Stop being who you were and become who you are.

But I'M BUSTED AGAIN! after that COMEDY LIFE WITH HIM...

HERE COMES THE DRAMA again... I MEAN OVER AND OVER AGAIN! Oh (tears...) God is good i know! i hope my baby Kyres will tap my head and BRING ME TO LIFE again!