"LEFT OUT!"

uhm! i hate doing this but i will give it a shot!

My step dad is back home! To visit my mommy
Where are they? HYATT Hotel I haven’t seen them since my Papa Manchang arrived.

Last Friday they went in Morong Bataan to visit some relatives. With my Lola and my Tita im left home with Manang Rosie. (Thanks to Erik because he fetch me last Friday night!) tsss… (I don’t even know that they’re leaving!)

I feel so left out these past few months! They don’t even want to join me in our dining table and more of those heart breaking whatsooooever!

Sometimes I just want to leave it all that waaaay! I don’t want to brag things because I know I have my faults and it was really a devastating part of my life but my question is why only now? Why this sudden burst of anger?

I have no one to hold on to… And I can’t take this any longer! I love them so much and im sooooo sorry for all the things that I’ve done to them especially to my mom. Okay! Enough of this drama!

I just want to focus more now on my career path! I have lots of overkill suitcases here in my mind and in my heart! It hurts me a lot, thinking of all the things that had happened in my life and sad to say but I’m still searching for an answer!

I’m in a traffic lane! So traffic that I don’t even know where to go anymore! And where to stop! I still love the person who perfectly ruined my life! Im loving him with no guarantee that he’ll be mine at the end of the day! Any day now he’ll be leaving me again I’m sure of that! But why am i still staying?
I just don’t know… I so love him this much! So much that I can even forget about everything that he had done to me! Im praying that one day he’ll realize my worth not as someone who will just make him happy but someone worthwhile! I maybe a little piece of a diamond but I know my worth and I know my value he just can’t see that little piece of me! Tears!

"My wishlist for my PENGUIN!"

May 30, 2008 our Anniversary!

and im planning to surprise him with this:

OR

divers watch

CHEESLE! :D

"Long weekend with PORKY!"

April 5, 6 and 7, 2008

Erik's Place:

our whereabouts? from saturday upto monday?

pig out!!! sleep!!! pig out!!! sleep!!! blagag! but i had so much fun bonding with Erik. i love the way he took take care of me. im hopping that he wont be leaving me again! tears! dramaaaa :D

"Here i go..."

Start Date: March 24, 2008 MONDAY!
Job Title: Junior Business Development Officer
After how many months of thinking finally i made my decision
i already signed the contract!

And OKAY to work with them...
i don’t know recently a lot of things had happened and i keep on asking signs if I’ll be joining the BANKING INDUSTRY or whatsoever! Well in fact I have job offers from IBM Business Services (I want to accept the job offer but I don’t like the time differential schedule of work 8.30pm to 5am) im having this predicament on what to choose IBM or HSBC HSBC or IBM

But way way back I will admit I have this egocentric side because I PROMISED myself that i won’t be entering in to this kind of industry haha but whatta! PEOPLE CHANGE! Now... its OFFICIAL im going to be a part of them (as one of their sales person) I don’t know what’s in store for me with HSBC! But hearing lots of good feedback RINGS A BELL! Why not try it and start from here then…
I'M BLESSED that even before my graduation day I have lots of job offers to choose from.
(but I swear that waaaas my LONG time head ache)

Yesterday I went back at the office

(picture taking for our I.D and submittion of sss and tin no.)

I already met some of my colleagues

Most of my officemates are from DLSU, ADMU,UA&P
and we'll im from SPUQC haha COED versus ALL GIRLS whew! im alone
but they're all nice and very accommodating so i don’t think i will have a hard time dealing with them (heartbeat rissing) haha

im EXCITED!

xns:

i thank Papa God for all the blessings and guidance

AMEN!

"IBM IPAT EXAM!!"

February 06, 2008 i took the IPAT Exam of IBM

and LUCKLY! i did PASSED!

WHY non IT position cut-off?: because im not a graduate of IT related course thats why! hehe

that IT Position cut off box is for IT geeks only! :D
i already had my first interview! last friday i recieved a phone call again i already have a slot

(HR Department)

and they want me to start A-S-A-P!

Responsibilities:

(which i dont kinda understand hehe later on i'll try to dig this up!)

• Lead and manage the ER activities and team of the center.
• Will manage the HR Business Partner team. Will be in charge of one Account (as hr business partner) on top of the total HRBP team management.
• Will partner with the respective line managers and team leads in the deployment of HR programs, policies and procedures such as but not limited to performance management, succession planning, L&D, PBC. SIP etc.
• Will partner with the respective Operations managers in the identification of OD interventions that will support employee motivation, retention and engagement

Business Transformation Outsourcing (BTO) client base is composed of large multinational corporations, such as Procter & Gamble, Kodak, Avon, CVS, Lenovo, and more...

i will be having my FINAL interview on monday! :D

GOD BLESS ME!

"My Forgiveness...again?"

I've already had a great comment suggesting that the question of forgiveness is largely determined by how we define forgiveness. I think that's exactly right. Before we can know whether we are to forgive conditionally or unconditionally, it's important to know what forgiveness is.

Dictionary defines forgiveness this way:
Forgive
verb (past forgave; past part. forgiven) 1 stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offence or mistake. 2 excuse (an offence, flaw, or mistake).

My OWN Definition
Some things that forgiveness is…
Interpersonal? there are many things that can hurt us nature, circumstances, unjust systems but we can only forgive people.
In other words, the question is not an objective evaluation of the evil doings. It is about how we choose to respond to that WRONG DOINGS.

It's not understanding? We may be called to forgive some things we will never understand. We may also understand what has prompted some behavior, but not be ready to forgive. Forgiveness and understanding are two different things. REALLY!!
It's not downplaying the fault. Forgiveness does not mean that we minimize what has happened or downplay it. It doesn't mean avoiding the issue either. We can forgive someone and still tolerate the authorities to deal with the offense, for instance, in a legal matter.
It's not forgetting? We will never forget some of the things we have to forgive. Forgiveness does not mean pushing something out of our minds it means that we deal with our answer in a certain way as we remember.
It's not the same as restoration or reconciliation maybe forgiveness may lead to a so called “restoration” We can forgive someone for stealing money from you, for instance, but you may not choose to keep them as your accountant anymore. It also is not the same as reconciliation. Two friends may forgive each other, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they will continue as best friends. (many of you people will agree on this post)

My main beef with this definition is that it is feelings based to "STOP feeling angry or bitter..." Forgiveness may lead to a change of feelings, but it doesn't begin there. I SHOULD KNOW better!

Maybe BOOK definition is better:

“Forgiveness is the mental, and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.”

What do you think? How would you define forgiveness?

Is forgiveness conditional? In other words, should we wait for someone to confess before we forgive them? Or should we forgiven another person even if they don't apologize?
I won't get into all the details here, but we had to extend forgiveness to a few people. At first we had to forgive dozens of times a day. Over time you find your heart is changing and you only have to forgive the people who hurt you 3-4 times a day. Eventually you realize that you're free and they're forgiven for good. We found ourselves at the end of this process and finally freed from having to dig up what happened, even though what happened was truly brutal at the time… I HOPE YOU GUYS ARE GETTING WHAT IM TRYING TO PUT STRESS HERE
it seems somehow natural to put things behind, to move on. it's easy to say, harder to do. so much baggage is accumulated. Too many memories, too many episodes!!!

is forgiveness the hardest part of life?
Maybe YES or NO! But i hope some people can finally let me go, you know who you are.(its Ron) PLEASE! forgive me for loving my baby’s father this much…
i hope a few can forgive me for things I’ve done, (specially my family…for accepting him again in my life!) and for things they think i've done. i hope i can forgive my outstanding accounts...

Forgiveness flounders even as I exclude myself from the community of sinners.

Bottom line: I love him unconditionally, I FORGIVE HIM and Im still willing to love him again… despite and in spite of everything! steady!

"KEITH KYRES..."

Last January 06, 2008

I was rushed to the hospital and well everything follows… MY WORST NIGHTMARE!

For my baby: KEITH KYRES

I know you’re up there now with papa god pls! Guide mommy and help me to move on. Baby im sorry but I can’t let you go! You will always be in my mind and my system everyday! You will still be my FIRST lovee dubee. Tears…
I know soon we’ll see each other (maybe there I can cuddle and kiss you!)
Baby please visit mommy in her dreams… I so love you dearly my little one!

I will still be waiting this date: JULY 26, 2008 (supposedly my due date…) my baby’s BIRTH DATE!

this is for my Little one:

we went to christ the king January 14, 2008

i may not have my KYRES PHYSICALLY but in my heart and my mind my baby will always stay with me for the rest of my life... tears!

"BEE Movie!"

Everyone is going ga-ga and waiting for this BEE MOVIE!! including my 2 dear friends!

(my Twin Joan and Achie Tammy!) :D

Open in theaters: January 09, 2008 Wednesday (Philippines)


About BEE MOVIE:
Barry B. Benson is a graduate bee fresh out of college who is disillusioned at his lone career choice: making honey. On a rare trip outside the hive, Barry's life is saved by Vanessa, a florist in New York City. As their relationship blossoms, he discovers humans are mass consumers of honey and decides to sue the human race for stealing bees' honey.



and more BEE'S... just visit this site: http://www.beemovie.com/

ENJOY!

XNS:

This cutesy's are from Mc Donalds HAPPY MEAL! hurry! and collect them ALL NOW! I so love them! (cheesle)
Fly and BEE happy! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

" From Jai to Me"

Ive got mail: from my dear friend Jai!!!

(he also made this cutesy!) :D i so love it!

here it is: From Jai
It illustrates: have you watched the movie, THE CITY OF ANGELS? There's a line there: "I cant see you but I know you're there". Hmm, sana nararamdaman mo yung care ko sayo, na iniisip kita kahit hindi mo ako nakikita.

xns:

OH MY GAHD!! Jai you made me cry i'm sooooo touch!!! Thanks!!!

I MISS YOU BIG TIME Boss..tears

"Plastic Dolls"

There’s this saying goes…
"It is better to be TRUSTed than to be loved."

B-I-N-G-O!! The magic word in life I guess is TRUST!
(We dealt in our own lives and play with our own cards)
ONE MAJOR RULE: we should know how to play it hardcore because if not? we’ll be defeated and crashed down.

Im a bit exhausted of hearing this to a lot of people:
“khryssy hirap kasi sayo grabe ka magtiwala sa mga tao, hindi mo na alam sino ang totoo sa skanila.” THIS IS OH-SO-TRUE!

I received an UNEXPECTED call before the New Year hits the clock…
I was sooo shocked hearing that voice, while im holding my phone I started crying but I see to it, that person is not hearing my tears. I’ve heard a lot of explanations and im speechless BIG BANG! another issue hits me! (I will not mention everything in here) I just can’t believe what ive heard and it was really a devastating one! I hate being skeptical to other people and I hate judging them by a mere hear say, because I think it’s a big NO-NO and if the story aren’t true I don’t bite them literally!

My friends know me, from my very 1st and last word that I’ll utter if I don’t like who’s in front of me! Im not a plastic doll seriously! If I don’t feel like talking to you I will make you feel it and if I vanished my trust on you SORRY but no way to have it back again (especially for a friend ive been there and done it already!) in the past ive trusted a lot of people and what did I get? Nothing!! I gave them all! My attention, my money literally my everything! If they need someone im the best person they can talk to! I don’t give them my limitations and I don’t give boundaries as long as i can help them I will give it all to them!

But NOW! Who am I going to trust at this very moment aside from my best persons?
All I can say is this!
I may be deceived if I trust too much, but I will live in torment if I don't trust enough.
To be trusted is a greater complement than to be loved isn't? I DON’T KNOW WHO IS WHO and WHAT IS WHAT! But I know someone is up there watching us all down here soon I’ll be getting my answer. But for now im backing off to those people who aren’t TRUE to me and keeps on banging my nerve!

I don’t get mad easily but im over flowing and my kindness is over I will make them feel my anger this time. It’s a matter of silent treatment and it’s a matter of forgetting even their names. “Ditch” is the right and appropriate term for them!
Im hurting because it’s a 3 in a row… who else and what else!! Isn’t over yet?!! If not let it all out now Papa God! Im tired of these people! Im tired! How could they do these to me!

Applause to them for being such a great actors and actresses!!! I salute them for being one!
Im not a envy person, I never talk shit, I give chances (so many chances) but instead i am a very giving person, I don’t get mad easily I weigh up things 1st! I love dearly (whether youre a new found friend or even a so-so friend) to tap this all I’M A REAL PERSON! YES! Hate me for doing this but I’ll boast it on! I am flaunting it! (Im not a “show off person” but at this very moment? In any degree im doing it!!! im boasting my whole packaging!! Im so angry!!)
I hate pretentious people, Envy people! Plastic doll people I hate all these crap junk stories and more…

WHATELSE! WHATS NEXT IN LINE… im not a perfect human being but I see to it that in every accomplishment I have done in my life! I keep it all real!
When I say I’ll be here and there for you no matter what, and more of me… TRUST me on this because I will give it to you! Not half hearted but whole heartedly!

Xns: "i cant sleep i just need to burst this out here!!! its 5.50am and im still awake!"

Shoot: Just don’t try to speak when you don’t meant and understand what you’re saying!
Use a HEART not a PRIDE. Conceited persons are not WELCOME IN MY LIFE!
Think and absorb this: Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody TRUSTS an unidentified source.

i'm through...