Dictionary defines forgiveness this way:
Forgive
verb (past forgave; past part. forgiven) 1 stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offence or mistake. 2 excuse (an offence, flaw, or mistake).
My OWN Definition
Some things that forgiveness is…
Interpersonal? there are many things that can hurt us nature, circumstances, unjust systems but we can only forgive people.
In other words, the question is not an objective evaluation of the evil doings. It is about how we choose to respond to that WRONG DOINGS.
It's not understanding? We may be called to forgive some things we will never understand. We may also understand what has prompted some behavior, but not be ready to forgive. Forgiveness and understanding are two different things. REALLY!!
It's not downplaying the fault. Forgiveness does not mean that we minimize what has happened or downplay it. It doesn't mean avoiding the issue either. We can forgive someone and still tolerate the authorities to deal with the offense, for instance, in a legal matter.
It's not forgetting? We will never forget some of the things we have to forgive. Forgiveness does not mean pushing something out of our minds it means that we deal with our answer in a certain way as we remember.
It's not the same as restoration or reconciliation maybe forgiveness may lead to a so called “restoration” We can forgive someone for stealing money from you, for instance, but you may not choose to keep them as your accountant anymore. It also is not the same as reconciliation. Two friends may forgive each other, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they will continue as best friends. (many of you people will agree on this post)
My main beef with this definition is that it is feelings based to "STOP feeling angry or bitter..." Forgiveness may lead to a change of feelings, but it doesn't begin there. I SHOULD KNOW better!
Maybe BOOK definition is better:
“Forgiveness is the mental, and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.”
What do you think? How would you define forgiveness?
Is forgiveness conditional? In other words, should we wait for someone to confess before we forgive them? Or should we forgiven another person even if they don't apologize?
I won't get into all the details here, but we had to extend forgiveness to a few people. At first we had to forgive dozens of times a day. Over time you find your heart is changing and you only have to forgive the people who hurt you 3-4 times a day. Eventually you realize that you're free and they're forgiven for good. We found ourselves at the end of this process and finally freed from having to dig up what happened, even though what happened was truly brutal at the time… I HOPE YOU GUYS ARE GETTING WHAT IM TRYING TO PUT STRESS HERE
it seems somehow natural to put things behind, to move on. it's easy to say, harder to do. so much baggage is accumulated. Too many memories, too many episodes!!!
is forgiveness the hardest part of life?
Maybe YES or NO! But i hope some people can finally let me go, you know who you are.(its Ron) PLEASE! forgive me for loving my baby’s father this much…
i hope a few can forgive me for things I’ve done, (specially my family…for accepting him again in my life!) and for things they think i've done. i hope i can forgive my outstanding accounts...
Forgiveness flounders even as I exclude myself from the community of sinners.
Bottom line: I love him unconditionally, I FORGIVE HIM and Im still willing to love him again… despite and in spite of everything! steady!
